this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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