just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
