I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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