lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
