found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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