i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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