There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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