so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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