only you would photoshop your dick
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
