That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
