But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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