literally had 100 drinks last night.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
