Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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