i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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