you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
