I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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