i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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