Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
