but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
