No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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