You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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