If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
