got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
