Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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