I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
