Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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