from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
