i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
