He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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