The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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