My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
