Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
