I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm lost and stupid without you.
My cat gives me a boner
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
