at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
