it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
