Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
