went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
