Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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