R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
