After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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