Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
