I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
