i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
