We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
