her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
