Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
