is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
