I look better un-naked...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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