When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
