living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
