do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
